IKEA Stuff

I was in an IKEA yesterday, to pick up a TV stand for my place of employment. I have not been by the store for awhile as I try to have money when I go and as most of you know we are in tough times right now. Window shopping is not my thing. EXCEPT here, I always like coming to IKEA. For me it like a trip to another planet where everyone lives in a 3×5 room and they love it! Everything is within reach and you can cook dinner, watch TV, play with the dog and not have to move out of your favorite chair! I just cannot get my mind around how everything that is so cheap, can look so good (at least in the store)

All of this love I have despite my hatred for RTA (ready to assemble) furniture. This is not an ordinary hate. it is a hate that is (quoting from a recent comedic movie) at the cellular level. As exhibit “A” it took me about an hour to put together this TV stand for the office that was less than 100.00 bucks. I would have given them 125.00 dollars if it was already in one piece instead of fifty-eleven different ones.

Back to the store, these guys have not missed a trick in getting you to buy something even if it is just a funny looking kitchen wahtsitjig that you will never use. It is evil but it is beautifully evil. If you have not yet been thru an IKEA It is kind of hard to explain how they manage to pull this off, but I can touch upon some of the highlights…

They start off right away be removing two of the biggest obstacles on the path to your wallet, the kids and the stomach. Ikea will whisk the little monsters away to a special “play area” with (supervision to boot) to allow you the freedom to enjoy all that is in front of you. Relived of the fear that your little bundle of joy will pull down a wall of plates on the unsuspecting bystander or at the least start whining at the top of his voice that he “wanna go home” or Why is that man’s back shaped so funny? All the while yelling so loud that you know that angels on high have resorted to using earplugs, not to mention the complete destruction of your self esteem at your (now public) parenting skills.

Ikea has also solved the problem of shoppers like me, those who are on a mission to go into a store, walk right up to what they came to buy and then leave. The store has one way in and one way out, no backtracking and in between those two doors, is every department that you have to go thru in order to get to the exit! Along that path, is every item that they sell. Set up in such a way that promises that once you take it home you will be complete and whole within an orderly universe at last.

Hungry? no matter. At the half way point of your march to the exit is a full blown cafe, loaded with cheap but good looking food, much like the table you just brought. And slightly better taste. Before you know it, you have a tray in your hands and are lining up to a get a plate of meatballs, and some unidentifiable red jelly that is all the rage back in the home country.

Add low lighting, and presto! you have shot 2 hours of your weekend, spent about 200.00 dollars (red jelly included) for a table that you have to put together yourself.

I love Ikea!