My nine-year-old is crossing over. I have been informed by both her brother (who minced no words by the way) and her mother, who just cannot bring herself to say (to me at least) “Jordann is starting to have cramps” See how simple that is? She instead will use “Well, when she complains of stomach pain, you know what it’s really is?” Sure, I say, “It means that her stomach hurts”… Right?
I think that they are dealing with it by telling me, I on the other hand have no one to tell it to. Unless I tell my 85 year old mom, I can see it now.. “Mom? My nine-year-old is on the rag! What do you think I should do? That would go over great with my Mom and Sister.
Really, I have feared this day from the moment I watched the doctors free her as a newborn from her mothers womb, early on. The cord that was once her lifeline was slowly choking her as she began her trip down the birth canal. I remember sitting in the hospital by her incubator completely scrubbed down unable to touch her. I had a job at that time which kept me behind the wheel of a truck for most of the day. So unknown to her mother (Or my employer) I would stop by the hospital during the day just to sit by that little plastic box that held my first little girl.
Sons are harder to raise, but because we share not only chromosomes but gender as well, I had a road map to go by. I could look at him and see his brain start to cook up some trouble. Look at him and see myself at his age and as result can pretty much say what he might think or do in some cases.
With my girls, I don’t have a clue. Now that Jordann is starting her singular journey into womanhood, I have even less to work with. How can you be distressed and panicky and hopeful at the same time?
I have already endured the first of many changes, they may be slight in other’s eyes but to a father, it means much. A recent “bring your parent’s to class” event she chose not to mention it to me at all, but invited her mother instead. (My baby girl, however did invite me to hers, thankfully)
I chose the title “Crossing Macedonia” Because of what Macedonia represents, a place that is full of unknowns and yet holds promise for all who go there. That was what it meant to those who were invited there in Peter’s day, and I need to believe that is what it means to Jordann and me.
Ipod song: “I think it’s going to rain today”… Randy Newman