doggie memories

I wrote this a few years back when I got my first dog for our family… since then the dog did exactly what the Vet said she might do, If I had to do it all over again I still would not get the “chip” but I have to say.. I miss my doggie




Our new family member is a handful!

 As I have mentioned, we now have a Dog in the house! I knew that it would mean some changes but boy, all I can say is, no one should take on a responsibility of a dog if they can’t take care of it.

Even after reading everything I could read about the breed of dog I have and about dogs in general (I waited until my dog was six months old before I acquired her so to get around the chewing stage)

 Still, it takes not a little planning to meet her needs!

Yesterday, for an example I took her to get her first round of shots…

“Mr. Fivej, when will you be able to bring her back for her second round of shots?” The young vet aide, asked me with the same tone of voice you would use to ask someone to “Pass the Butter”
“Second round? I just gave you eighty eight dollars for these shots and now I learn that I have more to go?”

 I asked with a lot of incredulity.

“Well, for these shots to work the dog has to have another set.” She said, using that same monotone voice.”

 “This is a dog” I reply, Not a heroin addict, why can’t he get everything at once? Ignoring me and my snappy retort she snorts out a laugh of sorts and says, “by the way, (she added, quickly before I could protest further about this latest grab for my wallet) does your dog have any allergies or has trouble sleeping?”

She hasn’t mentioned anything to me! Maybe she mentioned something to my wife.

 Let’s get back to the shots if you don’t mind” (As I was talking I could see my wallet opening up and disgorging all of its content.)

As she talked I saw her mouth move, but all I heard was “this is a stickup! Give me all of your money or we won’t shoot your dog!

 That dog is just one bug bite away from a slow and painful death! Can you live with that!”

She did not use those exact words but that’s what it amounted to, I was beaten…

Now that we have dealt with the shots, Mr. Fivej.

 I need to ask you a question.
Sure, I replied weakly. “Would you consider having your dog get a microchip imbedded in her skin?”
“For what?”

“If your dog runs away, we can find him by radio signal!” The voice this time was not unlike the one you would use if one would find that green cheese was in fact what the moon was made of!

Why would she do that? I ask.

 Do what? she replied, with a slight turn of her head

“Run away of course”

Sometimes dogs have been known to do that  Sir, she sarcastically intoned

Before I answer you, can I tell you something? Sure, Mr. Fivej, we here only want your satisfaction!

I get up at five AM every morning, not because I want to, mind you, but because I have this forty pound plus ball of fur licking me like I was some kind all day meat lollipop.

I get up and feed her not only dry food but the best canned food that I can afford, plus she gets human food as well! and then and only then do I dare try to do something for myself like humm…….I don’t know… shower a nights worth of dog drool and hair off of my body.
Wait it gets better… I have to shower and shave and dress all within a limited about of time because the food I foolishly gave her is now racing to the other hole at the opposing end of her body if you get my drift, and if I do not want to have my house closed down by the health department or even worse incur the wrath of the lady of the house, we need to take a walk! At 5: freaking 45 in the morning!

So do you think I want to really “Id” a dog that is stupid enough to leave 3 meals and day and free medical care?

 Not to mention the world’s biggest chew toy right next to him at night???? She looks at me and answers…
The Doctor will see your dog now ,Sir…..


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