Franks for The Memories

We all have foods that we know are bad for us, but we love them nonetheless… I have two weaknesses, Hotdogs and the king of blood clots;
Ice Cream!

I know, I know, that neither one of them cares a lick (no pun intended) about me. I have tried to cast them both out of my life,
but to no avail.

Let’s start with Hot dogs. I freaking love them! Skinless, of course. I prefer them grilled but will take them any way I can. I’m a real snob about them however; I will only eat beef dogs.
I can’t stand chicken or turkey dogs. Let me ask you this? If you had a time machine and could go back a correct any one horrible sin of humanity, what would you do?
Waste your wish and do something like making sure that Little Adolf Hitler got more valentine cards in elementary school?

Or making sure that Pam Anderson got accepted at Vassar? I’m thinking bigger than that! I would have the guy who came up with chicken dogs, effaced from the time line.
It would be simple enough, stop by his future parents house and give them movie tickets or something on the night that conception was to have occurred I would knock of the door and say “You have just won two tickets to see “Gone with the Wind”!
Yes, The world would be a better place.
Unable to do that I can only make it personal and say; No thanks, I just will not eat any old hot dog
If I must sin then let me sin with the real thing!
From time to time I will meet the occasional person who will intone while holding the nose so high in the air that it’s leaving a skin oil mark on my white ceiling..
“You wouldn’t like them so much if you knew what was in them”
By the way, everyone who’s ever said this to me thinks that they are the first to try to save me from the evils to hot dogs.
My pat answer for them is, No, I do not know what’s in them, and even if I did… Yum!
So spare me please,
and by all means, enjoy that cigarette.

Of the two, Ice crème is by far the bigger addiction; again I’m a snob and will not eat any that is below Eddy’s or Bryers. And on that note I’m going to digress for a moment and talk about off brand products

My wife likes getting cleaning supplies from the dollar store, and will shop at these off brand stores like Save a Lot and Aldi’s or that heinous creation called a “Dollar Store”

Drives me crazy,
I have no problem with an off brand can of peas or corn even tomato paste! I can even accept bread from time to time. Off brand mixed nuts (another weakness by the way) but anything else… No, No, No! If your choice is down to a pocket issue, meaning, I can have the dollar can of fake “Spam” or nothing
then I can understand the reasoning. After all very few of us have the means to get everything we want and have to go to an alternative or do without and I have been on that road.

I remember going to the store to pick up items and have had to put some back because of low funds. I have also looked longingly at the candy rack near the checkout counter and could not buy a single stick of gum without throwing the whole month’s budget into shambles.
So I have been there believe me.
I just feel that if you have room for it you should not be afraid of treating yourself with the best you can afford every now and then. The world will not go down in flames because you had a dish of high fat content diary rather than some water downed frozen chemical laden glop.
For a few minutes, you will have the pleasure of enjoying one of the few things that mankind has gotten right the first time out of the box!



One thought on “Franks for The Memories

  1. I think this is my favorite entry so far. Your writing has such killer visuals…”skin oil mark on my white ceiling…” Hahaha, what the hell!?

    I’m so hungry right now…

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